A father of twins pens down a hilarious blog about what parenting REALLY is like
Sam Avery, 37, is the father of these two really cute babies:
Super adorbs, right? Nope, not really. Here’s what the father thinks about parenting:
Sam Avery is a stand-up comedian from Liverpool. He has created the ‘World Baby Balance Championships’ with his time looking after his sons – which shows them competing against each other to balance for the longest.
The 37-year-old said he is in awe of his wife Rachel Avery, 32, now that he has been left alone with his twins, six-month-old Zac and Ben.
It’s a win situation for him when he successfully puts them off to sleep. To celebrate, he clicks selfies!
His blog includes everything – his struggles with diapers and the tough times when one of his boys urinated in his mouth!
I decided to start the blog whilst in hospital with the twins I just wanted to write about all these life-changing experiences and funny situations.
I normally blog when something goes wrong like the other day when Ben was covered in vomit that may or may not have been his own, he had his sleep suit on upside down and I’d accidentally cut Zac’s finger trying to trim his nails.’
I’d rather do my tax return on a roller coaster than look after twins with a hangover.
The Wheels on the Bus is a truly terrible song. They probably use it in Guantanamo Bay.
Sam’s advice for other parents-to-be is practical and to make sure they have provisions ready.
He also said,
Be prepared, running out of baby wipes mid-change is scarier than any of the Saw movies. And if something looks like poo and smells like poo, it’s poo. If something looks like Marmite and smells like Marmite, it’s poo.
I stay at home with the kids a lot but I’m always trying to find the right balance between not being away too much but working enough so we don’t run out of nappies and have to improvise with the curtains.
Sam’s wife said she enjoys his blog – but wonders why he feels the need to talk about nappy changes and poo so much.
But Sam replied: ‘When they kids start reciting poetry he’ll cover all that but until then he can only write with what he’s been given’.
In one of the posts, he wrote,
Spent two hours today slapping my bare belly while making squeaky noises to keep the lads entertained. I got several encores, for the record. And unfortunately that’s currently my best material. I’m constantly trying to make them laugh, even when they should be going down to sleep. Sometimes they’re a tough crowd as they decide that the material that was hilarious yesterday is incredibly dull today.
But like any other parent, Sam loves his children and he believes that they never fail to make him laugh as well.
The best thing that my kids have done that’s made me laugh was when I walked into the living room one morning to see Ben laying in a pool of his own sick, wearing a baby grow that boldly proclaimed “ladies man” on the front.
I laughed so loud I woke Zac up.