While it is fun to enjoy marriages for there is crazy amount of food to hog, unlimited alcohol to get warm in winter, and young girls/boy to flirt around with, sometimes bumping into your older relatives or that “‘dur ki maasi/aunty, etc.” could be extremely dangerous, an ‘upshagun‘!
Especially when you are single. At least according to them! We say it is better to avoid talking beyond “Aap Kaise Ho? OK, Namastey!” because of all of the following reasons!
1. “Beta, tum bhi koi pasand karlo, shaadi karlo jaldi se ab”
I never knew getting a groom is equal to buying clothes, aunty!
2. “Koi munda/ladka pasand aya yahaan toh bata de, hum baat kar lenge!”
You guys are impossible!
3. “Ladkiyon pe dorey daalna shuru kar de ab tu”
Let me start with you!
4. “Agla number tera.”
Same shit every time!
5. “Boyfriend-Shoyfriend nahi hai tera?”
Aapko to zaroor bataungi!
6. “Ye ladka kaun hai, boy friend hai tera?”
Matlab kuch bhi,haan!
7. “Khana aur sharab choddh aur ladki pasand kar.”
These guys can’t even let us enjoy this damned shaadi!
8. “Tum abhi bhi kuwari ho? Koi ladka nai hai life mein?”
Why did I accept this wedding’s invite!
9. “Tu fikar mat kar teri shaadi main karaungi!”
What a fucking relief!
10. “Abhi tak shaadi nahi ki? Gay ban gaye ho kya?”
“Yes, aunty, meet my partner, Gopi” (Stupid aunty!)
11. “Koi ameer munda/ladka dekh le!”
“Waah, massi isiliye toh main yahaan aayi thi!”
12. “Thoda figure ka dhyaan rakh, shaadi karni hai ya nai, tuney?”
(Nahi!) Ji, Zaroor!
13. “Jao DJ pe dance karo, aise rishtey bohat aatey hai!”
Thank you aunty, I never knew I had to give performances to earn proposals!
The next time you happen to be at a “shaadi”, make sure you dance with the baraati. Those people happen to be single, fun or sick of the ‘shaadi karlo’ conversations. They drink, they eat, they dance and they CONQUER their lives.