So I got up early at 6.30 am to watch the premiere episode of Game of Thrones Season 5. Yes, one crazy Game of Thrones fan would definitely do it. If you did too, than give me a high-5! As the episode began, I quick recollection of what happened in the season 4’s last episode. As soon as the episode ended, I slept my way to glory again with these 14 life-hack lessons to learn from the episode and they are-
1. Never ever go to a fortune teller or a psychic to know your future. Even if you do go to see what it’s like, don’t even think about requesting to know what your future will be. They will probably scar you or ruin your entire day with horrible things about your future. WTF!
2. If a psychic tells you she likes to suck blood from your finger, she is a real witch/psychic/fortune teller. DO NOT MESS WITH THEM!
3. If you want to save your ass from cruel people like, Cersie, it is alright to travel with your desperate and creepy uncle. At least he can keep you alive.
4. No matter you treated them like a mother, dangerous animals like, dragons can grow up to not obey you. Danaerys’ 1 of the 3 dragon has flown across half the 7 kingdoms and has never returned.
5. If you want a man to become your slave, give him a penguin kiss i.e., rub your nose against theirs. This will keep them wanting more. Of course, you can go ahead and tease them a little further just like Margaery did by touching Tommen’s hand for a little longer during Tywin’s funeral.
Remember that awkward kiss? That’s the way to go about it, woman.
6. It is always a good idea to do a bit of a recap anytime you are discussing something important. Just like Game of Thrones did. And oh! RIP- Oberyn, Tywin, the biased dad and Ygritte. I totally forgot you guys.
7. If you do not need anyone’s support, you don’t need anyone’s support! Just like Brienne of Tarth, get rid of any man who slows you down.
8. Never leave your kids away from you, they will probably end up becoming ruthless and might just hate you for abandoning them. I feel you, Viserion-and-Rhaegal…
9. Even if you are sleeping with someone, it is good to have a small talk about business. They might have better ideas for you. BTW, I loved the way Daario gave his piece of mind to Khaleesi about fighting pit.
He is hot! And should not die. Are you listening, Mr. George R.R. Martin.
10. It is difficult to forget whom you lost your virginity to. Jon Snow can never forget Ygritte.
11. Never ever do what Melisandre did with Jon in the elevator. Even if you are planning to sacrifice someone or have a dark monster baby, it gets really embarrassing for anyone if you ask them if they were a virgin. Jon Snow knows SOMETHING now.
12. Instant death is better than a slow death. Thank you, Jon Snow, for killing Mance. Hate you, Melisandre “Red Lady”.
13. If you know someone who is an unsullied or doesn’t have his ‘thing’ working, you should know that he would love to cuddle and have you sing to him. Super cute!
14. Never ask an unsullied or someone like him what one was doing with a woman. They can’t do anything and that’s very embarrassing for them to answer.
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